Iberia are rubbish (Best and worst Plane rides)
The easiest plane ride was probably from Lima to Cusco, but it was quite boring and normal so I'm not going to go on about it. There were two others in Chile that were similarly uneventful.
The most entertaining ride was from La Paz to Rurrenebaque. It was a small 12 seater prop plane, 1 row of seats either side and an open view to the cockpit. The views other the Andes were outstanding but there was the occasionnal flashing red light in the cockpit that made relaxation hard. Sometimes it was accompanied by a loud beeping noise that sounded very much like a fire alarm. I was clearly a lot more concerned than the pilots, who just grunted and turned it off every so often. We landed on a grass runway and sauntered to a stop next a woman taking it easy in a hammock. Everyone gets off the plane and starts taking photos (this must having for every single landing, I bet the locals make jokes about it). Then the lady in the hammock hops on a motorcycle to scare off some horses grazing on the runway so the plane could take off again.
Inside the plane
View from plane
Hand drawn safety instructions. Laminated though.
Getting back from Rurrenebaque was a similar affair, but took a lot longer to organise. There were seats available on the plane but we held out for a boat which didn't come through and by that time there was no space left on the next days flight. Tam (the Bolivian military run airline) had a flight as well and we got on the waiting list for that flight, having been told that there were nearly always some cancellations. There weren't of course so we booked and paid with Amazonas again for the next day. They phoned up early the next morning to tell us that we didn't have seats any more. We paid in US dollars (which they prefer) and they would only refund in Bolivanos at a dodgy exchange rate. They offered us another flight the next day but we were angry and went with Tam. This plane was bigger (50 people) and very noisy but still 3 hours late. We all got given earplugs.
Waiting for the plane!
Iberia
Iberia are far and away the worst long haul operator I've ever flown with. I am definitely not going to fly with them again unless there are huge money savings invovled.
We arrived 2 and a quarter hours before the flight and they immediately darkened my mood with a 45 minute wait to check in. We then get on the plan and aren't sitting together. I ask a steward to move us and the replies in spanish, telling me to sort it out myself. I was expecting something a little more helpful and it takes me 3 goes to comprehend what she's saying. I manfully give it a go but nobody wants to move. The plane takes off and I try with another steward. This one is a litle more friendly but tells me that we were in the last 10 people to check in. She goes on to say the spaniards have some saying along the lines of "the early bird cathces the worm" (El que madruga coge la oruga). I should have replied with "fuck you, you smarmy little bitch", but unfortuantely that gem of a riposte only came to me after she left. I asked one other steward who wouldn't help and then gave up.
Dinner was served about 3pm local time and then we had nothing for the rest of the 12 hour journey until a very small breakfast just before landing. We had breakfast before going to the airport and hadn't had time for luch due to the long check in. Thus we had breakfast, followed by small airplane dinner followed by 12 hours of nothing and then another breakfast. mmmmm. And there wasn't even any booze to pass the time with.
The staff clearly didn't give a shit. The drinks stewardess was sitting down reading a paper. Only self-serve OJ and water were available. The lady was reluctant to replace the finished water bottle but quick to tell me that I am in the way of the fire exit and must sit down. I'm not sure people would be queueing up to fling themselves out of the plane even if there was a fire but I let it pass. We can hear the rest of the staff giggling behind a curtain they have pulled across.
Not the best way to finish the holiday. We changed in spain where we had to drink a bottle of duty free wine before going through security. Very classy but in keeping with the whole south american experience.
The most entertaining ride was from La Paz to Rurrenebaque. It was a small 12 seater prop plane, 1 row of seats either side and an open view to the cockpit. The views other the Andes were outstanding but there was the occasionnal flashing red light in the cockpit that made relaxation hard. Sometimes it was accompanied by a loud beeping noise that sounded very much like a fire alarm. I was clearly a lot more concerned than the pilots, who just grunted and turned it off every so often. We landed on a grass runway and sauntered to a stop next a woman taking it easy in a hammock. Everyone gets off the plane and starts taking photos (this must having for every single landing, I bet the locals make jokes about it). Then the lady in the hammock hops on a motorcycle to scare off some horses grazing on the runway so the plane could take off again.
Inside the plane
View from plane
Hand drawn safety instructions. Laminated though.
Getting back from Rurrenebaque was a similar affair, but took a lot longer to organise. There were seats available on the plane but we held out for a boat which didn't come through and by that time there was no space left on the next days flight. Tam (the Bolivian military run airline) had a flight as well and we got on the waiting list for that flight, having been told that there were nearly always some cancellations. There weren't of course so we booked and paid with Amazonas again for the next day. They phoned up early the next morning to tell us that we didn't have seats any more. We paid in US dollars (which they prefer) and they would only refund in Bolivanos at a dodgy exchange rate. They offered us another flight the next day but we were angry and went with Tam. This plane was bigger (50 people) and very noisy but still 3 hours late. We all got given earplugs.
Waiting for the plane!
Iberia
Iberia are far and away the worst long haul operator I've ever flown with. I am definitely not going to fly with them again unless there are huge money savings invovled.
We arrived 2 and a quarter hours before the flight and they immediately darkened my mood with a 45 minute wait to check in. We then get on the plan and aren't sitting together. I ask a steward to move us and the replies in spanish, telling me to sort it out myself. I was expecting something a little more helpful and it takes me 3 goes to comprehend what she's saying. I manfully give it a go but nobody wants to move. The plane takes off and I try with another steward. This one is a litle more friendly but tells me that we were in the last 10 people to check in. She goes on to say the spaniards have some saying along the lines of "the early bird cathces the worm" (El que madruga coge la oruga). I should have replied with "fuck you, you smarmy little bitch", but unfortuantely that gem of a riposte only came to me after she left. I asked one other steward who wouldn't help and then gave up.
Dinner was served about 3pm local time and then we had nothing for the rest of the 12 hour journey until a very small breakfast just before landing. We had breakfast before going to the airport and hadn't had time for luch due to the long check in. Thus we had breakfast, followed by small airplane dinner followed by 12 hours of nothing and then another breakfast. mmmmm. And there wasn't even any booze to pass the time with.
The staff clearly didn't give a shit. The drinks stewardess was sitting down reading a paper. Only self-serve OJ and water were available. The lady was reluctant to replace the finished water bottle but quick to tell me that I am in the way of the fire exit and must sit down. I'm not sure people would be queueing up to fling themselves out of the plane even if there was a fire but I let it pass. We can hear the rest of the staff giggling behind a curtain they have pulled across.
Not the best way to finish the holiday. We changed in spain where we had to drink a bottle of duty free wine before going through security. Very classy but in keeping with the whole south american experience.
posted by Emma at 6:54 pm
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